Preparation & drips techniques

Prepare each participant and the space  

Before a wax play or massage session, prepare the space both mentally and physically. Here is piece of advice I like, taken from a workshop-text called Sensate Focus:  Practice when both partners are relaxed, rested, and feeling kind toward one another. Do your best to ensure privacy and reduce distractions.  

Before pouring wax on your partner/s or getting poured on, I would suggest testing the wax on your inner forearm, so that you know what expect in terms of heat/drips/reaction. Explore how changing the distance between the candle and the skin affects the heat. 

What you will need: 

- A lighter (gas lighters are ideal) 

- An additional candle. It can be useful to keep a lit long candle close, because this enables the pourer to easily relight the wax play candle at any point, without making any “lighter noise”.  

- A towel or sheet to protect bedsheets or other surfaces from the potential wax drip. Also, if your partner/s needs a sudden stop, it’s easier to aim the drips at the towel and then put out the candle. You can easily remove the wax later by using a hairdryer or an iron and an absorbent paper placed underneath.  

- Water - some water in a glass or jar can be useful for several things: potential water breaks, to cool down your partner’s skin and also to reduce any risk of fire. For a “cool down”, gently pour some water in your hand before putting your hand on your partner’s skin. If something was too intense, you don’t want to create another shock by pouring the water directly.  

- Ice - same as above - ice can be used for cooling down and for temperature playing. 

- Blindfold - the person receiving can use a blindfold if they want; this intensifies anticipation, surprise, sensation. 


- Avoid the genitals and face. Hair is also to be avoided as the wax will harden around the hair. If you or your partner/s have a lot of body hair on your back, chest, etc. then it is probably better to use the massage-oil candle version, as the wax will stay relatively fluid and be easy to massage or wash off.

Drip techniques

As soon you light up your candle, it will start to drip. The more contact with the flame, the hotter the wax will be when landing on the skin. Ideally, then, a drip does not travel through the flame before reaching the skin. The shape of the candle is designed with this in mind. Slowly rotate the candle during its burn. This also avoids one side of it burning off completely.

It’s best to drip from further away, instead of too close. The drips will have more time to cool down during the fall, plus it adds some anticipation. There is slightly more velocity to it as well, which can be fun.


Be mindful when creating a large pool of wax on the candle. When putting the candle back vertically, it can continue to melt, creating this pool of wax. This wax can be either wax discarded aside, or used. Be aware that is can have a bigger drip and be potentially hotter. Drip a bit on your interior forearm to test its potency before continuing on your partner. If you know your partner is sensitive to intense heat, snuff out the candle, let it rest for a minute, and you will then be able to pour from the pool of wax without it being too hot. 


Shedding is when the wax has cooled down and formed a crust on the skin. There are several ways to remove it. Firstly, it might just fall off naturally. Some people use a knife – i.e. the active person can shed the wax with a knife. Or just take a shower (not too hot so the wax doesn’t stick to the bathtub).

Maintenance / Crown 

Sometimes a crown forms on the candle itself. You can remove it by snapping it when the candle is cold, or use a butter knife when it is still a bit more melted.


At the end of session, and after or before removing the wax, the receiver (depending on the intensity) might need a hug, a gentle cuddle, to be left alone for a bit, or none of those.  

In terms of skin care, the massage-oil candle version should not burn the skin at all, whilst the wax play version can produce a small, slight burn – similar to sunburn. The massage-oil candle already contains nourishment for the skin with the shea butter and coconut. For the other candle, you might want to apply some soothing ointment afterwards, such as Aloe Vera gel.